(sorry, as it is directed to people from Berlin, this entry will be in german...)

So, heute mache ich mal etwas Werbung... dies richtet sich an alle Berliner oder eben an alle die, die es irgendwie hinbekommen können, am 11.03.2004 in Berlin zu sein. Eine liebe Freundin gibt ein... ja was isses eigentlich... ein Klavierkonzert samt Lesung... wie auch immer, lest selbst und geht hin!!!!!

Uh-oh! Seems like I'm currently suffering from a major-league quarterlife-crisis, a phenomenon kindly introduced to me by Bjoern some years ago.

I mean, I'm old enough to remember when Michael Jackson was black and MTV was all about music... and the only achievement I've gained so far is that I've never killed someone although I seriously feel the need to do so every now and then. I'm REALLY proud of that one though.

My professional success is lessened due to economical (Germany) and motivational (me) downfalls, I have neither boyfriend nor children and all my pets are seriously disturbed. But, who's perfect, eh?!
Professional success isn't the biggest issue to me, immature relationships (which are the only ones the guys around me seem to be capable of) suck and I never liked kids anyway. And the animals are the cutest ever!
So what?!

Yet I just cannot fight the feeling that I'm getting old... I'm sitting here, reading, listening to music (medium loud), TV turned off 'cause it was too irritating and sipping on a cup of cherry tea. No party, no booze... and I'm sure the aches in my left arm are due to a forthcoming infarct.

Perhaps I should start with all this anti-aging stuff. Use special cosmetics produced from 1000 years old space-seaweed, eat macrobiotic vegetables harvested by chinese monks, go jogging when there's new moon and meditate when there's full moon. Or something. But I'm sure this anti-aging stuff does work! You surely won't get old nibbling carrots and the like... .

Oh. My. God.

I'm sittin' here, reading (F.S. Fitzgerald - Tender is the night) and listening to MTV when this song was on, "I miss you" by Blink182. And what shall I say? I really like it! Both song and video!

I. Like. A. Song. By. Blink18-fuckin-2.

Never thought that would happen... that could happen... .

So what is next?! That I think Avril Lavigne is cute and oh-so-not nerve-wracking?! That Shania Twain is well dressed?! That our politicians are honorable people that act in order to ensure our social welfare?!

Aaaaahhhh!!!!

This is the new world order... the best rapper is white, the best golfer black, germans don't want to go to war and I like a song by Blink182.

Since I'm not working this week and it seems that I don't have much of a life (at least on Monday mornings), I spend some 40 minutes doing online-tests/ online-quizzes. And besides the usual blah (you're 60% slut, 38% bitch or 40% dead), I got this result from a personality-test:

***
Like just 4% of the population you are an EXPERIMENTER (DIAT - Dominant Introvert Abstract Thinker). Although you're slightly shy (admit it!), you love control. When a problem comes in your way, you stomp on it swiftly and decisively. You are bothered easily by failure in others and failure in yourself. You don't like people that you don't think are intelligent. Rather than arguing with them, however, you would just as soon ignore them altogether.

In relationships, you have a strong heart. And because you're introverted, people take you as someone they can trust. But the fact is that in addition to solving problems, you like to create them. So there's a decent chance that you'll cheat on a loved one. If you do, you'll likely get away with it.

You're a good person at heart, but then again, who isn't?
***

This is the fuckin best result I got from such tests ever! This is SO me!

I'm somewhat shy and I'm such a control-freak! And though I'm trying to fight this attitude, I don't have much of a respect for people that I don't consider intelligent. But my idea of "intelligent" is NOT necessarily defined by education or the like, just to make that sure. I met some of the daftest persons at the university.
And then, it's again SO me to just ignore the people I consider dumb. I hate arguing and I'll waste neither time nor effort on disputing with feeble-minded mutts. I'll let them live their lives and they'll let me live mine... it's as simple as that.

Concerning the interpersonal stuff: yup, I'm very passionate in relationships. I'm not quite sure if I'm THAT trustworthy to be honest, but fact is that people think I am. If I am little troublemaker? Blah, sure, who isn't at times... . Yet I never cheated in a relationship, but good to know that I'd get away with it. Hehe.

Damn, I lost the direct link to that test, but I think it was the "Personality Test" on The Spark or something.

Yay for me! I spent some 45 minutes today with cleaning my windows. Now you can actually see through!!!! A whole new experience!

I added an about-me page, but it's not finished yet. Check it out anyways... .

Geez, I'm tired, TTFN!

*sniff* One of my fishes floats keel-up! He was sick for a few days but I kept on hoping that he'd recover. But he didn't, obviously. Ohhh, my heart is filled with grief and sadness. Perhaps I shouldn't have pets, it usually makes me too upset if one of them feels uncomfortable in whatsoever way. If some more fishes will die within the next couple of days/ weeks, flushing the toilet will cause traumatic attacks. To both me and the fishes... .

Anyways, after an appointment with my future employer, I took a little walk in the lovely winter-sun. And there I was, standing in front of a shop-window, looking at the piercing jewelry that was displayed when two girls, both about my age, came up to me and one said something like "Hi! Oh, this is no good.", pointing at the jewelry. "Our holy father wouldn't want us to hurt our bodies with that!". I remarked that Jesus was some sort of a piercing pioneer... which kinda embarrassed Sister Watts and Sister Miller (as little shields on their dresses said).
Thereupon, Sister Watts said that I really really should come with them and pray to god and be converted to christianity.
They want to convert ME to christianity?! Me, the ex-ministrant?! Me, that is one of the few left that still pays church-taxes?! Me, that put the "cat" in "catholic"?! Tztztzzzz.

Oh, damn! I just cooked myself a-supposed-to-be-yummy chinese meal with lots of offbeat exotic ingredients... but it tastes like shit. How I hate this! You put so much love and effort in preparing a meal and the result is just disgusting. Boohoohoo! I should just stick to handling ingredients that I can actually spell.

Frustrated with my chinese meal I stuffed myself with vast amounts of jelly bellies. Oh, how can one tiny jelly bean be so tasty?! I love 'em!

BTW, I wasn't jogging today for I can feel every single fibre in my body from yesterday's jogging-session... and I mean feeling in the sense of "ouchouchouch-ohfucksports-ouchouchouch".

So, this be it for today's insight in my glamorous, high-maintenance rockstar-life.

Happyhappyjoyjoy! I went jogging! I saw the light at the end of the tunnel a couple of times (due to acute shortness of breath), yet I survived!

It was so overdue that I started doin' something about my outer appearance... it was just yesterday that I stood in the changing cubicle of a clothing-store, dressed in an eye-catching Fifties-style skirt and I looked in the mirror and I was something like "no, you're way too old for this!".

And I'm just 25! How depressing is that?!?!

BTW: sign my guestbook! Give a good girl a good time reading your babble, hm, will you?

It's almost 10 a.m. and I just woke up. *yawn*. I was at my friend's yesterday, we watched "Sex And The City" and drank red wine. I mean, I had 2 glasses of red wine in over 2 hours... yet I was all dizzy. So guys, who wouldn't want a girl that gets drunk cheap and quick?! Hehe... .

Whatever... hmmm, nothing that special happened within the last 2 days... I was in an all girly mood and did nothing but buying girly stuff, which means shoes, a skirt, perfume, a shirt and accessories. *purrr*

So, it's lovely weather outside and I hope to get me lazy olde bum from off the couch and go jogging for the first time this year. But before this I have to wreck my TV 'cause this horrible "Kandoo"-spot is on again and this dumb little kid ("Prince Pee"... need I say more?) makes me all aggressiv. Aaaaahhh!

I got a guestbook!!! So hurry up and sign in!!!!

So yesterday was Valentine's day... a day that can really, really suck when you're single. But to my surprise it was all OK, I got several sweet presents, I was in a good mood... so what. In fact, I was in such a sugar-love-me-tender-valentiny mood that I transformed my fish-tank into a little love-shack. I SO want some cute fish-babies!

So, in order to get my fishes in the mood for some sweet lovin', I fed them their fave food, changed their water, dimmed the lights a little, lit some candles and had the Commodores' "Nightshift" on heavy rotation.

I don't know yet if this effort was successful since my fishes are viviparous and the pregnancy lasts... dunno... several weeks.

The other news is that I went to a concert yesterday, "Psycho Bitch" and "In strict confidence", but both were as bad and boring as I expected them to be. Yup, I know, I should just stay away from concerts that I think will suck. And I should just stick to my rule that says I should only see bands where I want to marry at least one band-member... .

And I realized - once again - that I suck in flirting. I saw this cute guy... we had eye-contact... smiled a little... and then I stood there, clueless. And that was it. I really need some help or I'll stay single forever!

Boohoohoo... at least I have my fishes... . ;-)

Argh! What has happened to the exclamation marks and the apostrophes in my older posts?!?! Aaaahhh, this is *SO* nerve-wracking... .

Got a new template... downloaded one from blogskins.com ('cause I was too lazy to design one myself) and altered the colors, the image, the sizes, the positions... whatever... it's still not as I want it to be but I'm tired now... and I still have that darn hiccup! Still! I have this hiccup for 3 hours now!!! Oh my god, what if it never stops?!?!?

Anyways.... @Bjoern: I'm afraid I have to call you within the next days and bother you with some questions concerning this site. I'm too dumb to create overlapping layers... .

Oh my fuckin' god! Barbie and Ken have split up! Aaaahhhh!!!! Was it 'cause of Barbies horrible haircut (c'mon, all the kids cut barbie's hair)?! Or because of Ken's poor assets?!

No, seriously... . There is war, political discussions, cultural events, economical processes and whatsoever going on in this world and the "fact" that two plastic dolls "split up" made it to the prime time news?! I mean, hello?! These times are weeeeiiiird... .

However... I'm curious if this marketing campaign has success in whatsoever way... they got publicity, that's for sure... but will sales increase? Dunno, let's wait and see.

Oh fuck, I'm currently having the worst hiccup in ages... can't type no more... must concentrate on breathing... must... keep on... breathing... aaaahhhh! Fuck, I sound like a gulping nutcase! Damn... will somebody be so kind and write something that'll make me shriek... this shall help... .

So I was at the doctor's today... I hope for the last time. A blood test was made, I'll get the results tomorrow. However, my headaches are almost gone - which is the most important thing.

Regardless of what the doctor's saying, I think I myself have a rough idea from where or what the headaches are coming... . It's the people! People cause headaches! It's so damn obvious.

Examples? Sure.

1. There was this letter from my landlord in the mailbox that said that some workers will come to my flat on Wednesday in order to do something with my heating system. The workers will arrive somewhen from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m.. How I love those tight time-scopes, btw. So I sat on my couch the whole day waiting for the workers to arrive... which they finally did at 5 p.m.. The men entered my kitchen, took a glance at the heating and said something like "Hmm, dunno, you already have the thing we are supposed to install... hmmm... must be a mistake... have a nice day, bye!".

D'Oh!

2. Yesterday, I watched MTV. Some reality-soap called "Rich Girls". Baaaad taste. So there were this trashy bitches who were all of a sudden all philosophic and religious and stuff. They sat at a beach and talked about how they all believe in reincarnation. The conversation was something like:
slut1: Oh, I don't know in which form I'll be reincarnated...
slut2: From your character... I'll think you'll be a tree
slut1: Yeah, how beautiful! I love trees!
slut2: Perhaps a palm at a lovely beach like this
slut1: Oh yeah... we must have been really good in our former lifes so that we can
now be at this beautiful place
slut2: yeah... I think I am the reincarnation of Muhammad Ali
slut1: yeah, you're a very strong person...

I mean... how dumb can one be... and Muhammad Ali isn't even dead!

I could give you tons of further examples that may evoke an urgent need to bang your head on something very hard... but I can feel my headaches coming up again... . Hmmm. So bye for now!

So I was at the doctor's today and got my head x-rayed... I dunno... I think it was an all-creepy experience... these invisible beams going through you body, your brain... *shiver*... and then this picture of your skull.

However, the doctor couldn't find anything abnormal... except that my nasal septum is all crooked... kinda s-shaped. Great, crooked nose, that's sexy.

Well, since my headaches are still there (albeit weaker), I'll have some other tests done in the next couple of days. I'll keep you posted.

Something different: anybody seen this tv-commercial for kandoo? Kandoo the toilet paper for children? Not paying attention to the fact that toilet paper for children is as superfluous as an enema when you got diarrhea... this commercial is the most stupid and nerve-racking commercial I've seen in years. There's this child, shitting, and this voice in the background, singing something like "you're the king of the toilet, the toilet is your throne, you can handle this all on your own with kandoo toilet paper". The child is all like "Boohoohoo - I'm too dumb to use regular toilet paper!", then he sees kandoo toilet paper and yes, life is all good again.

D'oh, I mean, d'oh!

Boohoohoo!

I'm sick! I got this strange headaches that only occur when my pulse is racing... . My first reaction was something like "OK, no more sports... that's fine with me..." but as the aches won't dissolve, I got a little nervous and went to the doctor's yesterday. But he couldn't diagnose anything yet so I have to have several tests to be done with me within the next week. The first one is an x-ray examination on monday.

Oh, how I hate going to the doctor's! After all, I hope I can keep the x-ray photos of my cranium... they'd make a nice decoration in my room.

So I'm pretty much doin' nothing this weekend, just lounging and taking care of myself. I turned on my TV some minutes ago... and what did I see when I as I'm flipping through the channels? David Hasselhoff "singing" 'California Girls' (SO ridiculous!), Janet Jackson's pierced nipple, MTV's Dismissed, german politicians and a report on this "jungle" show.

I suppose I have a clue where the headaches are coming from... .

Hi there!

So I am back again - back online, that is. For those who wonder, I gave up my old homepage age-of-attitude.de 'cause I was sorta fed up about it. It's still online for a few weeks but that's merely because the guys from my provider-company are lazy morons.
Anyways, I decided to keep at least the diary online so I can stay in touch with all my far away friends more easily and to quench my thirst for diffaming the world around me.

BTW, I'm so sorry this site has a design that's not worth being called a design... I'll do something about it... .

Well, where shall I begin? A lot of things happened since my last post 6 months ago... jobwise, lovewise and fishwise. Got a new job, but terminated it. Tomorrow I'll sign a contract for another new job (in marketing). Woohoo. I'm so excited. No, in fact I'm not, but I can use the money.

So... lovewise... . I was once again proven that men are testosterone-driven, semi-intelligent, unfaithful jackasses. Best case, that is. But well, let's not get into details about my very special ex-boyfriend... I don't bitch about other people's handicaps and I won't break the habit of a lifetime for that poorly equipped moron.
Mwahaha.
Fishwise: I got a fishtank for X-Mas... which had nothing to do with "Finding Nemo", I swear. I got the most cutest fish ever, "Rudolf", he's very curious and so smart. I trained him to kinda "dance" with me and to swim to the "feeding area" of the tank when I knock at the cover. Yet I got the clumsiest fishes too, named "David" and "Bowie"... they always get stuck under a rock or at the filter. *sigh*
So, that'll be it for today... I'm tired.