No! Obviously, I was a VERY good girl during the last year, I would not have gotten SO MANY beautiful presents for Christmas in June (which I celebrate with the folks over at The Real World... Blogger Style) if I was a bad girl.
My secret Santa was the gorgeous dvl, and she was probably the best Santa I could get... look what beautiful gifts I got [click on the links to see pics of the presents]:

- two awesome metal boxes that are just the right size that my daily ration of pills fit in

- a Bettie Page magnet set!

- incense sticks, "Queen of the Night" scent... hmmmm, yumm

- devil hair sticks, accoutrements for evil, mwahahaha!

- the most kick-ass letter set including stickers, letter sheets and envelopes. Look at those awesome images! And I definitely want to change my name to Miss Anne Thrope now.

- my personal favorite: a bunch of cloned kittens! They immediately made friends with my two pink rubber poodles. The mutant black kitten is a little bit left outside though. Aaaawwwwww.

- a fortune bracelet. Awwww.

- new disciples for the cult!

- aaaaaand baby cult mascots!!! They were immediately adopted by mother evil duckling.

- a wacky wobbler! Modelled after the beautiful dvl herself, I guess.

- a neat greeting card

Awesome, huh?
So, I'm hopping under the mistletoe now, anybody who's up for a Christmas kiss may join me.

I found this link over at Nancy's... and now I'm wondering if there MIGHT be something that Jonnie forgot to tell me about SoCal... like 300 fuckin' earthquakes in one fuckin' week!!! What fresh hell is this?!?!

Well, I'll worry about that later.

My current favorite worry is that I won't be able to catch my plane in Washington D.C.. I have to change planes there and I only have a short layover and so much to do with all this ID checks and stuff I have to go through. And since my plane is the last to leave Washington for L.A. on this evening, I'm looking forward to stay in Washington for the night. Hooray.

So what shall I do if I'm stranded in Washington? Take over the White House? And paint it black? Hmmm... . I'm grateful for tips.

Today...

- I sold my scooter (boohoohoo)
- I bought a new pair of shoes (yay)
- is June 19, which means only one more month until my big trip to California! I'm excited!!!!!
- is me and my baby's third monthiversary! Time to celebrate!


June 19 is a good day.

... that I "stole" from Jonnie: GOOGLISM!

Here's the result:

- sandra is learning to crawl
I already crawled 4 metres today! I'll go for 5 tomorrow.

- sandra is not hungry now
Not true.

- sandra is doing great
True.

- sandra is a single mexican woman from hermosillo
No, but I love sombreros.

- sandra is a mature tart and she wants a big cock in her wet vagina
That's more like it.

- sandra is a concert pianist based in dunedin nz
No. But I can play flute.

- sandra is the first african
I wish.

- sandra is the kind of character that immediately strikes one as pretty damn cool
That's why I'm a cult leader.

- sandra is sensitive
yep

- sandra is my wife
ummm, who says that?

- sandra is licking the clitoris of her drunk brunette girlfriend
Yum.

- sandra is available to paint your guardian angel
I'll paint your flowerpot too if you let me.

- sandra is sandra and my sandra is female
MY Sandra is hermaphrodite.

- sandra is both informative and entertaining
That's why you read this blog.

- sandra is taking physics and it is a disaster
It was a disaster too when I decided to wear a light skirt and not-so-nice panties today though I knew that it was going to be stormy.

- sandra is a young swedish girl that takes pleasure in wanking off a hard big cock
I'm german.

- sandra is crying
No. But I bought artificial tears today.

- sandra is prime minister
And I'm soon to be Governor of California. I'll call myself The Governatrix.

- sandra is a recently married woman searching desperately for a way home to her husband
Noooo.

- sandra is an expert in women's hormonal problems and can show you how to overcome premenstrual syndrome.
Well, I DO know much about PMS but I DON'T know how to overcome the symptoms. Ask Jonnie.

As you may have noticed, I added a little countdown to the sidebar on the right. It counts down to July 19, the day I'll start my trip to California. I can't wait!

But I'm still so fuckin afraid of the flight! It's not that this will be my first flight... nooo, I've already flown dozens of times. The last one was last summer, to Barcelona. It was horrible! It was a freakishly small plane, there were only 20 other passengers and we came into turbulences above the Pyrenees. There were no clouds and one could perfectly see the mountains. I was already figuring who I'd eat first if we crashed there and I survived. My choice fell on a fat man 2 rows in front of me.
But well, as I said, the flight was all scary, the plane was shaking all the time and when we finally disembarked I didn't only want to kiss the ground under my feet, I wanted to take it out to dinner and give it a good shag afterwards.

I just hope this flight will be better.

So, what else? As I have to work tomorrow (bleh), I decided that today's gonna be my lazy day. I've been lounging on the couch all day and watching television. The brilliant QVC shopping channel, to be precise. This hours' topic is "Fashion for fat women". Well, that's not exactly what they call it, but that's about what it is. See [click to enlarge]:






Lovely, huh?
Oh, gotta go back to my couch now, the ladies present the panty girdles.

I just checked the search engine analysis which tells you what the people that came to my blog via google and the like were looking for. Here's the result:

1. Sandra
Well, ok, that's my name... though I prefer to be referred to as the "inerrant deity"

2. black
Nice. Black is the new black. I love black... the Bettie, the death cult, the ink I just spilled over my white desk... everything's black.

3. Bettie
Hm, I bet people that came here looking for "Bettie" were disappointed they didn't find anything about Ms. Page. But well, perhaps they found something better instead... enlightenment, the way to eternal life and all that.

4. latex
Cool. I like it that people looking for latex find my blog. I once owned latex trousers and a latex top but then I gained a little weight and... well, let's not talk about that.

5. hell
Mwahahaha!!! If you don't join the Black Bettie Death Cult™, this is what will await you! Mwahahaha!

6. top
I like to be on top. End of discussion.

7. man
Hmmm. Hmmm. Did I mention "man" THAT often in this blog?! I don't think so, but OK, as you like it. I might have said that I'll save MANkind after doomsday (may 29, 2006), but that's about it.

8. wanking
Oh noooo!!! Wanking comes only in the 8th place?! Such a bad positioning for one of life's greatest pleasures! That's a shame! I want more people to come here looking for "wanking". I hereby proclaim that wanking is an officially approved way to become a member of the BBDC™, self-baptizm so to say. And, kids, if you got a question about that topic, don't feel ashamed and ask Auntie Cultleader, it's all natural!

9. chat through
Chat through?! Chat through what?!

10. death
People looking for death came to my blog. Is that good or bad? Good, I suppose. I am the sheet anchor of the suicidal, huh?

11. song for death
Hahaha! Well, listening to me singing might indeed cause death, there have been cases before. In fact, the little counter on the bottom of this site doesn't count the hits on my page, it's merely the death toll of people that heard me singing.

12. death cult
Well yeah, of course.

13. cult
Only the 13th position for "cult" surprises me a little. But then again, the combination of the number 13 and "cult" is cool.

14. "
Haha. Sweet.


So, these are the results of my first search engine analysis (I don't have that tool for too long). I must admit that I feel a strong sympathy for those who came here via search engines, they were looking for all the good things in life.

From Paul via Jonnie:

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Low
Schizoid:	Low
Schizotypal:	Moderate
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	Moderate
Narcissistic:	Moderate
Avoidant:	Moderate
Dependent:	Low
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Low
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

Quite sane, huh? In fact TOO sane for a friggin death cult leader! I think I'll have to develop some fads or a nice psychosis in the next weeks. That'll make me more charismatic.

Suggestions as to what mental derangement I should develop are very welcome. I'm open for everything.

I've just thrown a ball of crumpled waste in a tiny trash can. Thing is that this trash can stood some 20 metres (about 65 ft.) away from me right on the other side of a long hall.

That was a goddamn one-million-dollar shot! The fuckin greatest athletic achievement in my whole damn life!

And nobody saw it.