Jonnie and me decided to put up a joint blog for the duration of my visit. So, for lots of fun, sun, naked skin, rubber ducklings and exciting adventures at the 99cent-store go check this blog!!!

I won't update this blog until I'm back in Germany.

***

Jonnie und ich haben uns entschlossen, für die Zeit meines Aufenthalts ein gemeinsames blog zu führen. Urlaubsberichte, Fotos und andere mehr oder weniger amüsante Ergüsse findet Ihr in Zukunft hier.

It's sunday night, the countdown is almost down to zero. Aaaaahhhhhh!!!! I don't think I've ever been THAT nervous in my whole life.
Well, it's still some more hours until my plane leaves, the countdown is somewhat inaccurate, you could only set it to stop at midnight. I have already packed, of course much more than I initially planned to. Hmm. I'll take a nap now and after that, the journey begins.
 
Keep your fingers crossed that I won't die in a plane crash, I'm SO afraid!
 
OK, bye for now, the next time I'll update will be from sunny California! YAY!
 
And I know I repeat myself, but: Aaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!

YAY! I'm now officially on holiday! This weekend will be spend with saying goodbye to my dearest friends and, of course, packing my stuff. I've never packed for a 2 months-holiday before, it's pretty difficult (well, for me). And I'm SURE that I'll forget something important... wait, let me see:

- money, credit card, IDs and so on: check
- sunscreen SPF 28: check
- sexy high-heels in which I'm not able to walk any further than 50 metres: check
- a bunch of short skirts and dresses and tops from last summer that all must have miraculously shrinked over the winter: check
- a bunch of insurances and various other papers and cards and 3 copies of each to be stored in every piece of baggage, which is not hilariously fussy, right, you just never know what paper you might need, right, and what piece of baggage might get lost or stolen and so it's clever and not overanxious and wimpy to have EVERYTHING insured and in triple copy, right, right RIGHT!?!? Oh, OK: check

I have someone to take care of the fishes and the plants and I'm not going to cook in my kitchen this weekend for the fear of forgetting to turn something off.

I think I'm well prepared.

The trip will start Monday about noon. The first flight will be with the German Lufthansa from Hamburg to London Heathrow:
[click to enlarge]



The next flight will be with United Airlines from London Heathrow to Washington D.C. where I have a short layover and have to go through all that immigration controls (which I'm sure will include rectal examinations done by a strong butch lesbian with short hair, a blue uniform and white rubber gloves). I can relax from those examinations on my third and last flight from Washington Dulles to L.A. (LAX, still with United).
[click to enlarge]



Again, I think I'm well prepared. Anything that I forgot? What would you bring on such a trip? To a different continent? To Jonnie?!

... but still enough time for doing REALLY important stuff like adding weatherpixie-thingies to my blog. You can check them here or via the link on the column on the right.

I just wanted to check what the weather's like in SoCal so that I can pack temperature-adequate clothes and while checking the forecasts for both Hamburg and Orange, I found that the maximum temperature here in northern Germany is about the same (or less) than the minimum temperature at night(!) in Southern California!

Jeez, I'm SO going to get sunburned next week.

I'm glad I spent 5 years of my life avoiding sun to get an alabaster complexion and gain some gothic credibility, just to have it all ruined in 3 days. Hmpf.
Well, one could say that my white legs look like those of a dead chicken. And one could say that I never fitted in the goffic community anyway because I'm not suicidal enough and I don't have that absent-minded stare.
So perhaps it's not that bad to get a tan.

Oh. My. God.

I just spiced my fishes! They are probably all going to die!!! Boohoohoo. I'm so busy these days, I had my dinner quickly while sitting on the couch, next to my fish-tank (and not while sitting at the kitchen table, like I usually do). So I could read while eating. Then I took a can with a pepper/ chili mix to spice my dinner. And while doing that I though "Oh! The fishes need to be fed too!" and so I opened the lid of the fishtank and poured some of the pepper/ chili mix in it. Ahhh!

My poor fishes! Now they swim in a pepper/ chili soup, that just can't be good for them.

*sniff* I'm not a good fish mama, obviously... . But, mistaking spices for fish food can happen sooo easily, see:


(left to right: spice(sp), fish food(f), sp, f, sp, f)

Well, now (an hour after the incident) all fishes are still well off, so no reason to be depressed. Perhaps I should think of my aquarium as the freshest seafood soup in this great big world, and that's something to be proud of, right?!

I never really cared that much about conservation... in fact about two third of the ozone hole is there due to my extensive use of hair spray in the late 80s and early 90s. I consider Greenpeace activists to be slightly suicidal crackpots that need to shave and wash. My first car was 35 years old and didn't have a catalystic converter or any eco-friendly technology whatsoever and I loved it. Being the rebel I am, I even threw a green bottle in the bottle bank for brown bottles a few days ago.

But, contrary to my own expectations, my ecological awareness was aroused by some norwegian environmentalists lately.

Read about those guys here. (c'mon, check the link... you can see tits!)

I mean, those environmentalist have everything... a catchy slogan ("Fuck for Forest"), a realistic plan ("The goal is to take over the entire commercial porn industry and transfer all the money to protection of the environment.") and background music by a band called "Cumshot".

I don't know about you, but I feel like saving some rain forest now.

Ah! Look at the countdown on the right! 11 days! I don't know if it's still 11 days or only 11 days. "Still" because I'm sooooooo excited and I can't wait to be with my Jonnie, but then again "only" because there are SO many odds and ends to take care of before I leave.

Well, I won't have to go to any office in the next 2 1/2 months though, which is nice.

The marketing project I finished some days ago was very successful, many of my recommendations will be put into action PLUS I managed to steal one fork, one pall-pen and two empty folders. That's so Rock'n'Roll, I know.

But oh, something different: I need your help. Answer me this: what is a total turn off for you? I mean, what makes your genitalia cringe? What makes entering a monastery become an option?
I'm asking because of my fishes.
Some months ago, I decided that it would be nice to have some baby fishes in my fish tank. So in order to get the fishes into the mood for some sweet lovin', I dimmed the light, lit some candles, played love tunes, fed the fishes luxurious food and so on and so on. This effort resulted in a couple of baby fishes and a kazillion of white fish embryos that look like sperm.
So, there are two problems with this:
1. They are just too many.
2. It all started with a certain fish couple. Meaning the younger fishes are all sisters and brothers and that there's now a lot of inbreeding going on. I don't want retarded fishes!
So, what can I do to make the fishes frigid? Let the male ones wear white tennis socks in bed? Hang up a poster of Roseanne Barr? Is THAT necessary?! Ah!

... and I'm usually not into posting quiz results, BUT dvl and boz posted their results over at the Real World house, and I was so enthused by the accurateness of the answers this test gives, I just HAD to post mine.

Check:


You're Meatwad! You're easily amused, you can't
read or count, and you can remove your brain
from your body and morph into various shapes.
You'll make friends with anything, including
mold.


Aqua Teen Hunger Force - which character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Wow! Neither my mom nor my boyfriend could describe me more precisely!
So if you kindly excuse me now, I have to prepare dinner for me and the mold.

(P.S.: But what the heck is this Aqua Teenage Hunger Force all about?!)